Kenny On the Couch
Aired March 4, 2003 · Written by Bob Daily · Directed by David Lee
Skyline
A crane is seen hoisting an object over the skyline.0:00
Frasier
Well, I think we've got time for one last caller. Go ahead, Mindy, I'm listening.0:08
Mindy
[v.o., softly] It's about my mother, Dr. Crane. Ever since I got married, she's been...yes, the cashmere turtleneck is $39.0:13
Frasier
Excuse me, what?0:21
Mindy
Sorry, I work in catalog sales, and my boss just walked past. So, anyway, my mom...yes, it's on sale till the end of the month.0:23
Frasier
Mindy, we are pressed for time.0:30
Roz
Hold on, Frasier. Cashmere for under 40 bucks? I'll take one in black. In medium. Wait, is that medium-medium or unrealistic- anorexic-model-medium?0:30
Mindy
It sounds like you might want to go for the large.0:44
Roz
Oh, really.0:48
Frasier
[cutting them off] And that's our show. What size will Roz order? Will she accesorize? Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion. Good day, Seattle.0:48
Kenny
Dynamite show, Doc, one of your best. Rosalinda, great work on the control panel. I'm going to start calling you "Control Freak." Well, you're probably wondering, "Who put a quarter in him today?" I just got a call from my lawyer. My divorce: final. I'm back to my tomcat days. [yelling with mock enthusiasm] Lock up your daughters, Seattle! Kenny Daly's on the loose!1:01
Roz
You might want to lose the wedding ring, tomcat.1:23
Kenny
Oh, yeah. Time to remove my shackle. [He attempts to remove the ring, but it won't budge.] Well, that's weird. Ooh, that's really stuck! Funny. That's how my wife described our marriage. [He continues to work at the ring, and begins to shake his entire hand violently.] "Stuck!" [letting his real feelings escape] Well, you're not stuck anymore, are you?! Oh, damn it, damn it!1:25
Frasier
Kenny, Kenny, come on, come on. Come and sit down. All right, here. Take a deep breath.1:44
Kenny
[recovering] I'm sorry. This thing's hit me like a ton of bricks. The only good news is I'll start getting a check every month.1:51
Frasier
Kenny, um, divorce can be one of life's most difficult transitions. Have you considered seeing a professional once or twice a week?2:01
Kenny
I've thought about it, but prostitutes are expensive.2:09
Roz
He means a psychiatrist, Kenny. That is what you meant, right?2:16
Kenny
A shrink? Oh, geez Louise. I don't think I'd be comfortable talking to a psychiatrist.2:21
Frasier
Well, I'm a psychiatrist. You're comfortable talking to me, aren't you?2:25
Kenny
Are you offering to be my shrink?2:28
Frasier
No.2:28
Kenny
Well, I could probably handle that.2:31
Frasier
I was going to refer you to someone.2:31
Roz
Well, can't you help him, Frasier?2:35
Frasier
Well, I don't know, Roz. Giving psychotherapy to my employer? It's a bit of a gray area, isn't it?2:35
Roz
[laughing] Oh, come on, it's not like he's a real boss.2:43
Kenny
[rising] Yeah, Roz is right. Come on, Doc, I could use a little help.2:47
Frasier
Well, I suppose if you'd like to stop by my place and discuss your feelings informally, there'd be no harm in that.2:51
Kenny
Thanks, Doc. [They embrace.] And I'm paying you for your time.2:57
Frasier
No, no, that's hardly necessary.2:59
Kenny
No, no, no, I insist, now what do you get?3:02
Frasier
Kenny, don't worry about it, I'll gladly do it for free. What do you say we get together Friday night?3:04
Kenny
Thanks, Doc. I wish my ex-wife was as agreeable as you. And dead.3:08
Frasier
Okay, maybe tonight's better.3:15
Kenny
[intermittently sobbing] And the one time I was winning, my dad "accidentally" knocked over the checkerboard.3:23
Frasier
Ah.3:28
Kenny
And he made me pick up all the pieces, too. Fortunately, my mom was there with an extra piece of cake. [He breaks down and cries more freely.]3:29
Frasier
I see. A controlling, narcissistic father and an overprotective mother. It has all the earmarks of a classic Oedipus complex. [speaking to the clipboard] Well, well. Old friend, we meet again. [to Kenny] Now, let me tell you, your deep-rooted feelings of castration...[A watch alarm beeps.] I'm afraid our time is up.3:37
Kenny
[still sobbing] Wait, what?4:05
Frasier
This has been fascinating. I believe we are finally on the brink of discovering a road into some real insights. I can't tell you, I believe I'm as exhilirated as you are.4:07
Kenny
[far from exhilirated] Yeah. When are we going to talk about my divorce?4:17
Frasier
Ah, you may not know it, Kenny, but we already are. Now, for out next session, I want you to write a letter telling your father how you feel. Don't send it, just write it.4:21
Kenny
[exiting and turning back around] Homework? You never said there was going to be any homework.4:35
Frasier
It's all part of the process. Good night, Kenny.4:37
Kenny
But I...4:40
Martin
Geez, I thought that would never end.4:43
Frasier
Dad, how long have you been in there?4:45
Martin
The whole damn time! I went in for a beer, and Kenny came in and started crying and I was trapped. [He gets his coat.] So how's talking about checkers supposed to help him through a divorce?4:47
Frasier
Dad, the inability to maintain adult relationships often has its roots in parent-child trauma.4:58
Martin
What's your generation gonna do when we're all gone and there's no one left to blame?5:05
Frasier
You know, I really can't tell you how exciting it is to roll up my sleeves again and delve into someone's psyche. I don't even know where to begin, although you know, I do think it's particularly salient that the father never showed any interest in the things that were most important to his son.5:11
Martin
Sounds good, Fras. Bye.5:24
Kenny
Hey, Martin!5:26
Martin
Oh, hi, Kenny, I didn't know you were here. How's it going?5:28
Kenny
Okay, I guess. [He pauses.] I have an emotionally crippled father.5:33
Martin
You don't say. [He calls the elevator, which Kenny apparently had not done.]5:42
Kenny
So, where you headed?5:46
Martin
Uh, gonna grab a beer at McGinty's.5:46
Kenny
Really? Well, I'm sure dehydrated after all that crying.5:49
Martin
You don't say.5:55
Kenny
You mind if I tag along with you?6:03
Martin
Sure, why not?6:05
Kenny
Oh, thanks, Martin. I really appreciate it. I bet you were a great dad. [He starts to sob again.]6:05
Martin
Oh, geez.6:12
Daphne
If you want to learn yoga, why do we need some fancy private teacher? There are classes we could take together down at the Y.6:17
Niles
Yes, and afterwards there are anti-fungal lotions we can use together, too.6:23
Niles
Just give Ahmrit a chance. If we don't achieve physical and spiritual harmony, the second lesson's free.6:28
Frasier
Oh, hello, you two.6:35
Niles
Hey, Frasier.6:36
Daphne
Hi.6:36
Niles
Ooh, Freud, Bettelheim...Jung! Someone's playing with the big boys.6:38
Frasier
[chuckling with satisfaction] Yes, well, it's for my patient.6:43
Niles
[surprised] You're seeing patients again?6:45
Frasier
Well, just this one for the past three weeks. Very challenging case, too. The man has father issues, any number of neuroses, and a phobia or two.6:47
Niles
Sounds to me like you've hit the crackpot.6:57
Niles
I'm sorry. I heard it at a convention.7:02
Frasier
Yes, yes. [He continues to chuckle.]7:04
Daphne
So how did you meet this new patient?7:07
Frasier
Well, I can't really say, Daphne. You know, doctor-patient confidentiality...7:08
Kenny
Hey, shrink buddy!7:12
Niles
Hello, Kenny. How are you? Well, if you'll excuse us, we're off to buy sticky mats.7:15
Daphne
[giving in] All right. [Niles and Daphne exit.]7:21
Frasier
Kenny, have a seat, have a seat. So, uh, how are you feeling?7:23
Kenny
Like a new man! Last night was just what I needed.7:25
Frasier
I can't tell you how gratifying it is to hear that.7:30
Kenny
Yeah. Me and your dad shut down McGinty's.7:32
Frasier
[a bit surprised] Really? You and Dad?7:36
Kenny
Yeah, actually, I'm meeting him here for coffee. Man, is he a hoot. He made me completely forget about my problems.7:38
Frasier
Well, good for you! Of course, the object is not to forget about one's problems. It's to understand them. Of course, that can take a lot of work.7:43
Kenny
Yeah, about the work part...your dad said something last night that made a lot of sense. He said I should get out more, and I was thinking, that's going to be tough to do if I'm seeing you twice a week, plus doing all this homework. I guess what I'm saying is...I want to quit.7:54
Frasier
Kenny, I understand it must be painful to uncover what is a very painful past. But I must warn you that if you run away from this now, you will only be repeating a pattern that will prolong your unhappiness.8:08
Kenny
I'm okay with that.8:23
Frasier
[agitated] In these past few sessions, we have uncovered territory that usually takes months to reach! I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I've been on fire!8:26
Kenny
Don't get me wrong, Doc, you've been great. It's just...it's not for me.8:35
Martin
Hey, guys!8:38
Kenny
Hey, hey, it's Party Hearty Marty!8:38
Martin
Hey, hey, it's, uh...[He can't remember Kenny's bar nickname.]8:41
Kenny
Sir Shots-a-lot.8:43
Martin
Right, hey!8:43
Frasier
Dad, can I have a word with you for a second?8:46
Martin
Yeah, sure.8:46
Kenny
Oh, I'll get us some coffee. [He goes to the counter.]8:49
Martin
Nice guy. Doesn't hold his liquor like you think he would.8:51
Frasier
Did you tell him that he should go out more?8:57
Martin
Yeah, what's wrong with that?8:58
Frasier
Well, he is using it as an excuse to quit therapy. After one night out with you in a bar, the man is ready to throw away three weeks of intense analysis!8:58
Martin
Well, Fras, the guy's finally having a little fun. Don't you want him to be happy?9:08
Frasier
I am not trying to make him happy. I am trying to cure his depression!9:12
Kenny
Hey, Marty, does this remind you of anything?9:21
Kenny
Ow, hot, hot!9:25
Frasier
[rising] Get the man some water.9:28